Friday, May 11, 2007
Fear and Loathing in Edson
Jason, Stuart and I decide that we need a little night on the town, we started out at Castaway's hoping there might be some live music (there wasn't) so we skipped on down to Galloways and were entertained by the druken caterwauling of Edson locals (Karoke night), once we bored of this we headed down to the 'place to be on a Friday night' Stockyards. Since there are so many fights at this little joint they insist on scanning your license before you go in.......except me, I looked at the guy and said "Honestly, do I look like I'm going to start some shit here?" and apparently I don't look like the fighting type so he let me in without scanning. Afterwards we were confronted by a three hundred pound woman in a bikini top that informed us there was a $4.00 cover, we didn't mind but if there were ever an organization for cruelty to glowsticks we would have reported her.
Anyway, we get in the bar and I notice a couple girls walking around in bikinis, I assume it's some new slutty trend that I must have missed (meanwhile I'm walking around in a longsleeved shirt and sweater.......how embarrasing) until we see the bouncer with the water gun and suddenly it hits home, beach night! What a fantastic way to get a bunch of girls dressed in their scantily clads while you spray them with a water gun. Genius! That is until a renegade bouncer accidentally sprayed me on the arm, I almost jumped up and beat him with his water gun but he missed my hair so I let it slide (I did tell the guy at the front that I wasn't going to start any shit and so felt obilgated to behave). The rest of the night was pretty boring, I did manage to record some dance floor action on Stu's phone but it was pretty low quality so I didn't add it to the post.
We ended up staying until the bar closed and then staggered home, decided Stockyards was the lamest thing in Edson, vowed never to go back and fell asleep.
Today we are enjoying the more fun side of Edson by going fishing. I'm sure this will end badly so I promise to make another update soon. Also, I've finally joined the ranks of online friending and have started a facebook thingy. If you're part of facebook be my friend so I don't look so lame!
XOXOXO
Penny and Jason
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Jason Robert Gobert
XOXOXO
Penny and Jason
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Cooking is for losers
This may have been an end to my culinary feats were it not for the fact that I made the best pumpkin cheescake in the world today. I guess I may just have to stick to desserts, might as well get fat since I have nothing better to do. Tomorrow I try my hand at a Easter turkey, usually I just get drunk on wine beforehand and my Mom gets disgusted and cooks it for me but this time I'm going to give it a go.
Hope everyone has a great Easter!
XOXOXO
Penny and Jason
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
A day in the life of a hooker
And that my friends was the most interesting thing that happened to me all week.
Yes life is boring but that's because Jason is still in Rocky Mountain House and I have long ago lost the ability to entertain myself. Thank God for America's Next Top Model.
Good new is we are coming to Edmonton the Monday after Easter! Hooray! All I want to do is drink beer, go to movies and eat breakfast.......and we'll be sleeping on someone's floor so don't be suprised if we show up at your house.
XOXOXO
Penny and Jason
XOXOXO
Penny and Jason
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Bubba's Point of View
Hi - I'm Bubba the Dog. I am Jason's dog but he leaves me with Penny because he is working in Rocky Mountain House. Penny and I don't always get along, I think it's because she doesn't understand me. Like today for example, we just moved into a new house and the owners really like it! I like it too but couldn't help but notice that it smelled different, and so figured the best thing to do was to go upstairs and take a big, runny shit on the floor. I also made sure to go in a place that would be really hard to find and it took Penny at least 10 minutes of sniffing around before she found it. I assumed that she would be thrilled that the upstairs now smelled like poo factory but noooooo. Instead of acknowledging my gift she flipped out, telling me my poo was so nasty she could taste it, that it wasn't so much a smell but a force, and then accused me of eating bleach!.....it also didn't help that the windows don't open upstairs. I'm pretty sure she wanted to put my head through the wall, you can imagine my surprise.
So after she was finally done yelling at me for something I did to help out the family she actually rubbed my nose in it and then threw me outside. What a bitch.
XOXO
Bubba
PS. After I wrote this Penny walked in the living room and stepped right into the pile of carrots I had thrown up today on the carpet. That was on purpose.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
A lesson in morality
Anyway, today the internet guy came to hook up our internet and mentioned that there was some weird stuff downstairs. It turns out our sweet little Catholic was also a stront anti-abortionist, which I figured out by the anti-abortion picket signs in our basement. Hilarious. I thought the best thing to do was to take pictures of them, post them on the blog and then display them at our housewarming party.
XOXOXO
Penny and Jason
Friday, February 23, 2007
Vets are perverts
The house is great, I will post photos as soon as I get everything unpacked and it looks habitable (which it is not right now, I'm lucky to find underwear in the morning). I am finishing up in Edmonton right now, working a couple days at the hospital and cleaning the old house. Boooo.
Bubba is with me and is helping out by shitting on the carpets once we clean them. Fucking dog.
Speaking of animals, we have accidetally adopted a cat. She was half starved and hanging out at
Stu's so he brought her to us so we now have a little outdoor kitty. I'm pretty sure she's kind of retarded, maybe inbred, but all the more reason to take her in. Retarded cats need love too.
Now this brings me to the title of this post...........Stu (being responsible) took the kitty to the vet to get her checked out. I guess the cat purred throughout the entire thing EVEN when the vet stuck a finger up her butt. Dirty kitty. Anyway, the vet then proceeded to explain all sorts of things about the cats labia to Stuart along with a visual presentation. Who does this??? Although I suppose I'll know who to ask if I ever find the need to explore my cats labia.
Point is the vet here is a pervert for sure and my cat is some sort of mentally challenged inbred that enjoys a little 'backdoor adventure'.
Ummm that's all for now, stay tuned for house pictures and info on our kick ass housewarming party (possible theme is leave your keys and pants at the door).
XOXOXOXO
Penny and Jason