Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A day in the life of a hooker

So I'm walking to work the other day (everyone drives here! It's like they don't understand that everything is within ten blocks of everything else) when I hear a honk behind me. I assume it's someone I know and so turn around only to see some asshole in his work truck making devil horns and sticking his tongue out. Ummmm why? I must have accidentally put on my "Honk at me I'm a whore" jacket that morning without realizing it. Fuck.

And that my friends was the most interesting thing that happened to me all week.

Yes life is boring but that's because Jason is still in Rocky Mountain House and I have long ago lost the ability to entertain myself. Thank God for America's Next Top Model.
Good new is we are coming to Edmonton the Monday after Easter! Hooray! All I want to do is drink beer, go to movies and eat breakfast.......and we'll be sleeping on someone's floor so don't be suprised if we show up at your house.

Penny and Jason

Penny and Jason

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Bubba's Point of View

Hi - I'm Bubba the Dog. I am Jason's dog but he leaves me with Penny because he is working in Rocky Mountain House. Penny and I don't always get along, I think it's because she doesn't understand me. Like today for example, we just moved into a new house and the owners really like it! I like it too but couldn't help but notice that it smelled different, and so figured the best thing to do was to go upstairs and take a big, runny shit on the floor. I also made sure to go in a place that would be really hard to find and it took Penny at least 10 minutes of sniffing around before she found it. I assumed that she would be thrilled that the upstairs now smelled like poo factory but noooooo. Instead of acknowledging my gift she flipped out, telling me my poo was so nasty she could taste it, that it wasn't so much a smell but a force, and then accused me of eating bleach! also didn't help that the windows don't open upstairs. I'm pretty sure she wanted to put my head through the wall, you can imagine my surprise.

So after she was finally done yelling at me for something I did to help out the family she actually rubbed my nose in it and then threw me outside. What a bitch.



PS. After I wrote this Penny walked in the living room and stepped right into the pile of carrots I had thrown up today on the carpet. That was on purpose.